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Top 5 “OMGWTF” Moments in Music (Of 2009)

December 31, 2009 Leave a comment

So, this was supposed to be an “Of The Decade” post, but the final list ended up being only stuff from 2009. So, ya. Deal with it.

THESE are the moments in music where all that you could do after seeing is sit there, jaw hitting the floor, and utter the mother of all naughtyness – OH MAH GAWD WHAT THE FUCK!? I’ll warn you, there’s scary shit ahead.

NUMBER 5:

Marilyn Manson has T3H SWINE FLU OH NOES… wait…

It's called "shock-rock" for a reason, guys... jeez.

No he doesn’t. That, my friends, is what we call a “publicity stunt”! When I first heard that Manson had the airborne bacon virus, I ’bout crapped myself! The father of shock rock could die OMGWTF!? Well, even if he did have t3h swine, he probably wouldn’t have died, but still, OMFG. And then he comes out sayin’, “lol pwnt”. Dick. He’s still awesome.

NUMBER 4:

This picture:

You ready for the really scary part? After seeing this, I went to Google and typed in “The Jonas Brothers are”, and that’s what actually came up, in the same order. SERIOUSLY!? JONAS BROTHERS < BEATLES – NO QUESTIONS ASKED. THERE ARE NO LULZ TO BE HAD WITH THIS BLASPHEMY! Go search Google right now, if it’s not the top suggestion, it’ll be one of them.

NUMBER 3:

Imma let you finish!

I don't even watch True Blood, but Twilight sucks.

Kanye West is a dick, we’ve always known that – and he sucks at “music”. But his epic interruption of Taylor Swift at the VMA’s was just legendary not only for it’s doucheyness, but also for the great meme that it spawned! I don’t like Taylor Swift, Beyonce, or Kanye, but, my god, that was just DOUCHEY.

NUMBER 2:

“The Rev.” dies

This makes three times now that I’ve mentioned his death on this blog, but… it’s just so damned tragic. When I woke up at 2 in the morning the night he passed, only to discover this, I cried. No joke. My jaw still hasn’t relocated from that drop, and I don’t think it will for a long time. The Rev. was one of the greatest drummers ever to live, and his loss is truly a tragic one. R.I.P.

NUMBER 1:

Michael Jackson’s Death

The King of Pop – dead. Who would’ve guessed? It came out of nowhere – just like The Rev’s. Rushed to the hospital, and then pronounced dead on an otherwise insignificant day. Michael Jackson’s death touched the world in a way that not even The Rev’s passing did. We lost a true icon on that day, and one of humanity’s few visionaries remaining. And, to all of you mocking him, or saying that the little boys are safe now, all I have to say is this: Go fuck yourselves.

For the record: I’m not trying to make it seem like the Rev’s death wasn’t a big deal, it was a ridiculously frikin’ huge deal.

Well… uh… that’s it. NEXT COUNTDOWN: I dunno yet. We’ll figure that out.

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Categories: Uncategorized

Top 5 Drummers Of The Decade

December 30, 2009 Leave a comment

We all know the importance of the drummer in a band. Without them, any band would probably fail at keeping together. They add another layer to the music that, in a lot of cases, can make you go “Wow!”. These drummers are the ones who have shown the most skill, the most creativity, and the most awesome.

NUMBER 5:

Bränn Dailor of MASTODON

Scoring points for writing a bad ass song, Dailor probably beats out all of these guys in terms of singing and drumming at the same time. He’s the king of rolls, and has one of the awesomest looking sets in metal. Polka-dots, bitches.

NUMBER 4:

Mike Wengren of DISTURBED

Being in one of the greatest bands ever automatically scores you some cool points in my book, but Mike gets this spot for mainly one reason. The opening to Down With The Sickness. Everyone knows it! Its such a simple beat, but yet its such an iconic one in metal culture, that it can be recognized by a pack of metal heads who don’t even care about Disturbed. He’s a kick-ass drummer outside of that intro, though, don’t worry.

NUMBER 3:

Zbigniew Robert “Inferno” Promiński of BEHEMOTH

While he may not be the best looking in this countdown, he’s certainly one of the most talented. Bonus points for having some the craziest legs out there. Seriously. Just go listen to any Behemoth song, he keeps the double-bass going for the whole song almost every time. Inferno practically wrote the book on hitting a snare drum really fast… with one hand.

NUMBER 2:

Joey Jordison of SLIPKNOT

Now, many would sit there and think, Joey isn’t number one!? Well, no, he isn’t. A lot of Joey’s recognition comes from the crazy shit his drum kit does on stage. Turning upside down, exposing a pentagram light underneath it, and he does all that while playing a solo? Yea, that’s neat. But when it comes to sheer talent, one beats out even this heavy-metal legend. That’s not to say that he’s bad though, he wouldn’t be here without the awesome amounts of talent.

NUMBER 1:

Jimmy “The Rev.” Sullivan of AVENGED SEVENFOLD

Yea, you knew it was coming. I spent all of yesterday sobbing my heart out on Twitter, listening to A7X, and mourning the loss of this great drummer. It was hard to guess that he wouldn’t top my list. But! He isn’t there just because of his tragic death two nights ago, he would have been in this spot anyways. The Rev added a whole ‘nother element to A7X’s music, and made himself into more than just the drummer. Back in the band’s more metalcore-ish days, he played like a true metal drummer, roaring bass, pounding snares, and everything else, but then with that transition to hard-rock with the release of their self-titled album in ’07? He really showed his stuff. Taking away from the clichés of the genre, and really showing his creativity and skill. It’s safe to say that, even if Avenged does find another drummer, they could only hope of matching the talent, personality, and creativity that was Jimmy “The Rev.” Sullivan. May he rest in peace.

Of course, as I write Jimmy’s piece, Warmness Of The Soul by A7X comes on… (Look it up. Sad song)

Alright, I’ll try to stop crying for five seconds! Next countdown: The Biggest OMGWTF Moments in Music of the 2000s!

Categories: Countdown, Feature

R.I.P. Jimmy “The Rev.” Sullivan

December 29, 2009 2 comments

I feel like I need to say something… I woke up this morning at 2 A.M. to find that a friend of mine had joined the group “RIP Jimmy Sullivan ‘The Rev'” on Facebook. The Rev is the drummer for metalcore/hard rock band Avenged Sevenfold, who’s last album brought them into the mainstream. He was often regarded as one of the greatest drummers in metal, or in history. Personally? He’s my #1 drummer. I’ve always loved his style, and his ability to support the band in ways that make him more than just background noise that keeps the beat.

When I first saw the phrase “RIP Jimmy Sullivan”, I thought this would be a joke, or a publicity stunt. After some investigation on Twitter and the news lines… I found that I was very, very wrong.  Jimmy Sullivan of Avenged Sevenfold was indeed found dead in his home late at night on December 28th, 2009. The cause of death is as-of-yet unknown, but he had a history of drug usage.

The band released the following statement on their website: “It is with great sadness and heavy hearts that we tell you of the passing of Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan. Jimmy was not only one of the world’s best drummers, but more importantly he was our best friend and brother. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Jimmy’s family and we hope that you will respect their privacy during this difficult time. Jimmy you are forever in our hearts. We love you.”

R.I.P. Jimmy Owen Sullivan – 1981 – 2009 – “Such a surreal place to be, so how did this come to be? Arrived too early.”

Categories: Uncategorized

Top 10 Metal Albums Of The Decade

December 29, 2009 2 comments

Okay, fuck the BLITEOTW posts. Those were getting boring. Let’s just say that me and my entire family got consumed by zombies. Whatev’.

ANYWAY! With the end of the decade (What the hell do we call this decade, anyway? The ‘oties’?) upon us, it is time to name the greatest music to come out of it. This will – hopefully – be the first of many posts  in which I name the greatest of something from the 2000s. For this post, we’re going to start off simple; The greatest metal albums of 2010… and honorable mentions. These choices weren’t easy ones, that’s for sure, but these albums truly are epic, and show us just what the artist who produced it is made of. Even those that scored low on the list still come with my absolute highest recommendation.

And finally, there’s one rule: Only one album per artist.

NUMBER 10:

Nightwish – Wishmaster – 2001

Wishmaster is the third outing from symphonic metal band Nightwish, who is one of the most popular groups of the genre. Wishmaster demonstrates everything that makes Nightwish, Nightwish, and then improves on their formula even more. The symphony in the background, the mind-blowing vocals from Tarja, and the now-classic song The Kinslayer makes Wishmaster a god’s work.

NUMBER 9:

Arch Enemy – Rise Of The Tyrant – 2007

Arch Enemy is one of the most powerful bands in the Melodic Death Metal sub-genre, and Rise Of The Tyrant shows this better than no other. The band’s bizarre vocals – which are only bizarre because their lead is female – and insane guitar playing and at their peak in Tyrant, and it all just sounds great.

NUMBER 8:

Lordi – The Arockalypse – 2006

I can tell you’re laughing in your seat. But I’m dead serious. While many criticize Lordi for being the single cheesiest band in history, I love them. There’s nothing better than a good round of Lordi to get your spirits up and make you feel good about life! Why? Because it’s the FREAKIN’ AROCKALYPSE. Lordi is one of those bands that is only good if you don’t take them seriously, and if you don’t take The Arockalypse seriously, it really is a great album.

NUMBER 7:

Moonspell – Night Eternal – 2008

Moonspell is a band that I don’t recall ever mentioning until now, and for that I apologize. Why? ‘Cause they’re one of the freakin’ greatest metal bands ever, and Night Eternal proves that. Roaring vocals, more guitar solos than ever before, and some crazy female vocals make for the awesomest thing out of 2008… well, almost the awesomest thing from ’08.

NUMBER 6:

Five Finger Death Punch – War Is The Answer – 2009

Five Finger Death Punch is one of metal’s lesser known groups, and that needs to change. They’re a sound that rivals even that of current super-powers like SlipKnot and Metallica. War Is The Answer is the recently released second album from Five Finger, and… I’m running out of things to say about how awesome these albums are. Just, take my word for it. It’s badass.

NUMBER 5:

Disturbed – Ten Thousand Fists – 2005

I’m sure you’ve heard of Disturbed before. They’re one of the most popular artists in the metal genre, and they deserve that attention. Ten Thousand Fists has everything that makes Disturbed great; beautiful singing, entrancing guitars, and pounding drums… and… God I’m running out of shit to say.

NUMBER 4:

Cradle of Filth – Midian – 2000

Being the oldest album on this list, it’s easy to say that Midian has aged well. This album showed just what Cradle of Filth has to offer, and it set them up to become the metal gods that they are now.

NUMBER 3:

SlipKnot – All Hope Is Gone – 2008

SlipKnot is quite simply the biggest super power in metal culture. They’ve been around for a solid decade now, and they show no sign of stopping. All Hope Is Gone is the roaring, screeching, tearing, mind-blowingly awesome masterpiece from the ‘Knot. In my opinion, it easily beating out Vol. 3: The Subliminal Verses, which many fans consider their best.

NUMBER 2

Dope – Life – 2001

Dope is the band that first got me into metal, and Life is the first album I heard from this industrial/speed metal quartet. Its still one of my favorites. No Regrets – the group’s ’09 release – is a strong contender for this spot, but it doesn’t quite beat on the classic that is Life.

Finally…

NUMBER 1:

Mastodon – Crack The Skye – 2009

You probably saw this coming if you’ve been following this blog for awhile. Crack The Skye is not only the best album of 2009, but it’s quite simply the greatest album (Not just metal) of this decade. Every single second of it is a great one, with its trippy sounds, progressive style, and creative story that, while it makes no sense, is still great. If you haven’t heard Crack The Skye yet, you need to go do that right now. Seriously. Go. Shoo. Have you listened to it yet? Then what the hell are you waiting for!? Do it! DO IT NAAOOOUUGGHHH!

HONORABLE MENTIONS

These albums were great, but not quite great enough to make the final cut. Take note that these all still come with my highest recommendation.

Lamb of God – Wrath – 2009

Lamb of God may be one of the biggest names in metal, and even though Wrath was their most impressive album, it still doesn’t beat out the beauty of the others on this list. It fell short on the fact that the songs sound very, very similar after awhile and get boring. Wrath loses its steam after awhile. But its still great.

Bullet For My Valentine – Scream Aim Fire – 2008

Scream Aim Fire was definitely an improvement over Bullet‘s previous, mediocre album, The Poison, but it suffered from the same issues that Wrath had. It just got old.

Albums that broke the only rule:

These albums are great, but one album from the same artist beat it. Plain and simple.

  • Mastodon – Blood Mountain – 2006
  • Nightwish – Once – 2004
  • SlipKnot – Vol. 3 (The Subliminal Verses) – 2004
  • Five Finger Death Punch – The Way Of The Fist – 2007

Well, that’s it, kids! I’m haven’t quite decided what the next countdown in this series will be, but it’ll be here eventually. Really.

Categories: Countdown, Feature, Metal

On The Run

December 23, 2009 Leave a comment

Hope you all didn’t think I was dead. I was damn close to it, though. Bastards broke through the windows, flooded the house beneath us. We had to run around the horde – via jumping out the windows over them – before they crawled on top of each other until they piled over the wall that was once our stairs. We’re left without weapons, and minor amounts of food. Our goal now? Rickenbacker Base. A military base located north from here, we heard from another survivor that the Air Force and the National Guard are performing a joint-operation there to provide refuge for survivors and evacuation services. The survivor who told us said he was going back for his family… but our entire town has been overrun, we were lucky to get out alive. He’s probably dead by now.

We’re just going to hope that Rickenbacker is alive and well and  there are few ghouls between here and there.

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Probably only one or two more of these. Unlikely any between now and Christmas, so, Happy Holidays, all!

Categories: BLITEOTW

In Hiding

December 20, 2009 Leave a comment

It’s amazing how quickly these monsters spread in a day. The moment I heard a gunshot, the house was boarded up, the bathtub was filled with water (Trust me, it’ll go out eventually), and our staircase is now in ruins. We’re holed up on the second floor, with anything we could consider a weapon being held tightly like a lover. One broke into the first floor, and was hindered by the severe blockage that was the giant wall where our staircase once was. We didn’t know what to do about the living corpse, as we have no projectile weapons, and we didn’t want to waste any melee weapons. Its still clawing at the wall, the incessant moan is getting to my head. I’m about to just jump down there and beat the bastard to a pulp, but that would probably end in my death.

I’m not sure how the rest of the neighborhood is holding up, I’ve seen other monsters prowling the town. Haven’t recognized any of them, thank God. I think I really would go crazy if I saw my neighbor eating someone.

I just heard a car crash. Someone narrowly missed hitting one of them, thinking it was a human, probably. The poor soul. He’s getting out of the car, trying to… oh, the idiot. He’s trying to communicate with the zombie, what a futile effort. Oh shit, the guy has a gun. He’s shooting at the zombie, but not the head. I’m not sure if its fear or bad aim that’s keeping him from putting the demon down, but its still charging. It just grabbed him. Yup, he’s dead. Ouch. Hope he didn’t need that neck.

Anyway… we’re trying to keep ourselves sane, and its a miracle that the power is still on. The T.V. has remained off, though, as we don’t want the sound to attract a horde of the bastards. I can only hope that rescue arrives soon… all of the major news sites say that evacuation teams (National Guard) are being dispatched all over the state, and the country has officially been declared in a state of emergency. When it does, we just have to try to fight our way out to the evacuation centers, or just pray that they set up shop close to us.

One of the first floor windows just crashed open. I’ll hope its human.

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BLITEOTW POST

Categories: BLITEOTW

A Murder, They Said

December 19, 2009 Leave a comment

There was a story on the news today. Someone had been murdered. They were bitten at the neck and taken to Mount Carmel East Hospital in Columbus where they died of unknown causes. They say its a cult killing, but what cult? And why? It made no sense. I’ve been monitoring the news lines all day. Nothing else on the story. A press blackout just doesn’t happen in this country. Something strange is going on.

I just got a call from a friend of mine, Ty. He said that there was another news story, more killings. In the hospital. Five. The victims appeared to have been murdered by cannibals. Their limbs were chewed off, if not totally gone.

Bite marks, sudden deaths, in-hospital cannibals… this can only mean one thing…

Zombies.

I’ve read about this, studied their mannerisms, and how to spot an incoming infestation. But, seriously? Who would have guessed that Zombies would actually become a threat some day? I don’t know what to make of this, my survival guide states that these kind of infestations spread quickly, especially with humanity’s lack of knowledge about the Solanum Virus. Enforcement will be minor. They’ll be here soon… so very soon.

I must prepare.

This blog – although its music-themed – will be used as a journal for all to see through the coming infestation. If I don’t make it out of this, spread my story, and warn the world what is coming.

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Remember, folks, this is a “Blog Like Its The End Of The World” post – NONE OF THIS IS REAL SERIOUSLY I’M TALKING ABOUT ZOMBIES. I understand that this is not music related in any way, but, hey, I thought it would be fun! 😀

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